And Now, The Rest of the Story
As WordPress’s most unreliable author, I’m finally updating my post from, oh, three weeks ago. Sadly for you dear reader, I’m funnier when stranded alone in a car. Where did we leave off? Around 3:00 I believe…
I started to panic as it gets dark here at 4:30pm. However much I had managed to maintain my cool through-out the afternoon, I knew I couldn’t be sitting on the interstate once the sun went down and no one could see me. I called AAA again who assured me the tow truck was on its’ way – it was just waiting for a tow from the State Patrol. This time I kind of flipped out on the woman, justifiably so. I won’t bother with the whole transcript, just the best part. She said, “You know, on days like this I never leave the house if I don’t have to work. You should have just stayed indoors.” WELL THANKS FOR THE ADVICE LADY, I’M SURE I DIDN’T THINK OF THAT EVERY 2 MINUTES FOR THE LAST 4 HOURS.
Next I called the State Patrol. I had done this earlier – they had said they would send someone but never did. But I figured the oncoming darkness might provoke some action, even if it was just rescuing me from the car. The officer said he could see me on his camera and would send a tow truck, since, and here’s the best part – he’s only ½ a mile away. Arrggghhh.
At least there were two trucks on the way. In theory. The prize goes to the State Patrol who showed first, a little before 4. Hooray!! He got me half-way out then got stuck. Seriously. I still couldn’t drive, but at least I was several feet closer to the traffic sliding by. They got themselves unstuck just as the AAA tow guy called me – directly. Why couldn’t they have just given me that number before instead of leading me on all day? I feel used.
So now it’s dusk. All I want to do is make it one exit – Exit 23B Industrial Boulevard, the sign I have stared at for 5-1/2 f-ing hours – then it’s only ½ mile to a hotel. That means I have less than half a mile to get 4 lanes to the right, which I manage to do even though I am completely traumatized. The exit is blocked not just by what can only be described as a shit-ton of snow, but there is a car stuck there as well.
Okay, okay. Okay. Just get to the Stinson exit then go back through town. Several cars take the same exit with me, all of us moving very slowly. At the bottom it is apparent that none of the streets have been plowed and have at least 15 inches of snow. The woman in front gets out her car, walks around looking at the intersection then looks back at all of us and shrugs. We all drive the only possible way which is back on the highway. Plan C (D?) is to take Industrial Boulevard from the North, but it’s blocked by a stuck semi. Now I’m near tears (again). I just keep driving north; I don’t know what else to do. The phone keeps ringing – it’s The Fox worrying about me. It’s been an hour and a half since anyone has heard from me, but it’s not like I can pull over to answer a text.
Amazingly, I made it the whole way to Lino Lakes without getting sliding off the road again. I did get stuck at the end of our street, but I could see the house. The last text on my phone said, “I need to hear from you soon or calling police!” The Fox came out and gave me a push and I made it into the garage safe and sound. And the very best part? Chili mac for dinner.